acidkitten

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acidkitten

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 13 July 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 836
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About acidkitten : Welcome

acidkitten's page activity

Visits<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 3:48am<b>xxlittlemsanime</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 8:10pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 3:06pm<b>izkiz</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 2:07pm<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:53pm<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 12:20am<b>awkwardology</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 11:39am<b>Ins3rtEpicName</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:55pm<b>laney_bug_</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:29am<b>TheNewKate</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 3:40pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 6:27pm<b>Earrings100</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 4:55pm<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 5:30pm<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 4:02am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 11:56pm<b>bugs26</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 11:54pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 12:26am<b>melcat</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 5:42pm

Fucked!<b>xxlittlemsanime</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 2:10am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:37pm

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acidkitten's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I took my iPod to Walmart to replace the battery. They tell me to call Apple. I go home again and call Apple. They tell me to call Walmart. I call Walmart. They tell me to bring it in. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

by embaressed / 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

by ccblock / 09/16/2010 at 9:30pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Love

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 9:34am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was frustrated at work so to have fun, I wrote an email to myself saying that I was great and loved myself and should relax. I used all different colors and fonts. Instead of hitting "delete", I hit "print" without realizing. My manager got it out of the printer and put it on my desk. FML

by Me / 10/05/2009 at 6:49am / Kuwait / Work

Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML

by ouch / 08/08/2009 at 9:56pm / Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a pet store to adopt a dog. I got a medium sized lab, a dog crate, and a few toys, then put his crate in the back of my truck and the dog in his crate. On the way home I realized I forgot dog bowls and some dog food. I went back, and when I got back out to my truck, my dog was gone. My stereo too. FML

by doggone / 07/14/2009 at 4:55am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML

by TheJoker / 05/12/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

by Rhyno / 05/05/2009 at 11:37am / United States (New York) / Animals

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