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Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (3295)
On 01/05/2012 at 3:09am - health - by dusk - United States (Colorado)
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36932) - you deserved it (2822)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27749) - you deserved it (406)
On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32236) - you deserved it (2826)
On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29254) - you deserved it (5422) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22937) - you deserved it (1954)
On 09/05/2011 at 5:37pm - health - by oxymorons - United States (Arizona)
Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24880) - you deserved it (2404)
On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)
Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30628) - you deserved it (2760)
On 07/30/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Tootie (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46811) - you deserved it (7157)
On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51983) - you deserved it (5653)
On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19877) - you deserved it (1450)
On 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I took my iPod to Walmart to replace the battery. They tell me to call Apple. I go home again and call Apple. They tell me to call Walmart. I call Walmart. They tell me to bring it in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23352) - you deserved it (2624)
On 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18291) - you deserved it (1822)
On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28561) - you deserved it (2425)
On 09/16/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by ccblock (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26788) - you deserved it (7101)
On 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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