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About acccccccc : My name is Alex. Im 17. Message me itd make me feel cool.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6576) - you deserved it (2494)
On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30402) - you deserved it (3387)
On 07/19/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by PissNTra - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10052) - you deserved it (20186)
On 07/18/2011 at 11:23pm - intimacy - by RobinBunny713 - United States (Arizona)
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23245) - you deserved it (2415)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8476) - you deserved it (44997)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34833) - you deserved it (5281)
On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39959) - you deserved it (6220)
Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25124) - you deserved it (39978)
On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said 'I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years, grow the f*** up, dumbass.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (13345) - you deserved it (62273)
On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10191) - you deserved it (37279)
On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31419) - you deserved it (20278) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23133) - you deserved it (14878) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32997) - you deserved it (6769)
On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)
Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20066) - you deserved it (7706)
On 12/04/2010 at 1:50am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore
Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (7414)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)
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