abrookec2011

Search for a member

abrookec2011

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1373
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About abrookec2011 : That's my dog and I.

How interesting was that story?!

abrookec2011's page activity

Visits<b>mlia_usually</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 7:22pm<b>luckygirl2522</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 1:51am<b>dkelly_6</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:59pm<b>C001Gir1</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 3:14pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 5:38pm<b>CinematicKid</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 3:15pm<b>whitelightning19</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:24pm<b>Bweav1</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 6:59pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 9:45pm<b>dsw144</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 11:40am<b>Laconic01</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 8:05am<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 7:07pm<b>Ins0mau</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 10:12pm<b>miketopgunmike1</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 2:40am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 7:15am<b>DuckOnQuack93</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 12:13am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 11:14am<b>kenzzaayy</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 10:19am

abrookec2011's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of abrookec2011's badges

abrookec2011's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

by only1bigdogme / 09/03/2011 at 1:24am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting for a doctors appointment, my husband started playing angry birds. Continually losing the game ended up raising his blood pressure to the point where he now has to have his medication changed. The new medication is $100 copay. FML

by Username / 08/26/2011 at 8:20pm / United States / Health

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML

by ddeit / 08/18/2011 at 10:10pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

by candymansvan17 / 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

by Coldsnap / 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

by squishylog / 08/12/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

by creepedout / 07/31/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

by someone / 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML

by lauramarie / 07/23/2011 at 10:18am / Canada / Kids

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

by thetalkingvagina / 06/09/2010 at 7:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

by darthmilfious / 03/31/2010 at 3:56am / Intimacy