About abhi95 : Bleeh!
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abhi95's favorite FMLs
Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML
by TheAce44 / 07/26/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML
by Etrius / 08/17/2014 at 11:19am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 06/23/2014 at 7:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/22/2014 at 1:27am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Gibbster_ / 06/20/2014 at 1:05am / United States (Texas) / Money
Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, after waiting 2 hours for my landlord to leave so I could take a shit in peace, I sat down on the toilet. The doorbell immediately rang. It was my landlord, who wanted to let me know that he had just backed into my car. FML
by chubbs / 05/28/2014 at 5:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Baby eater / 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2014 at 1:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
by cantprovenothing / 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML
by fuckmeitsgettingworse / 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Love
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML
by ... / 01/04/2014 at 12:25am / United States / Love
- Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to… Today, I can't seem to get a job after going for more than 20 interviews over the last two months.… Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling…