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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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abeybaby

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abeybaby
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 811
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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abeybaby's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

#14023923 (432)

I agree, your life sucks (17792) - you deserved it (35326)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

#14022064 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (19206) - you deserved it (2408)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

#14007811 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (12497) - you deserved it (27172)

On 11/28/2010 at 2:10am - intimacy - by apavies444 - United States

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

#14000546 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (9632) - you deserved it (26080)

On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

#13994749 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (10330)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (8141) - you deserved it (18102)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873 (440)

I agree, your life sucks (72163) - you deserved it (7427)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

#7711889 (311)

I agree, your life sucks (10817) - you deserved it (55543)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML

#5263427 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (35325) - you deserved it (2986)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

#4465464 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (52405) - you deserved it (6813)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML

#4464455 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (48981) - you deserved it (2750)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:13am - animals - by jennabean (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokemon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokemon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030 (321)

I agree, your life sucks (12878) - you deserved it (53047)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML

#3861516 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (57649) - you deserved it (5321)

On 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by overachiever - United States (Illinois)

Today, was my first day back at work since my wife got breast cancer. I come in and see some people with pink slips and frowns. When I get to my desk I find a pink slip, I go up to my boss and start to curse him out for firing me. Only to find out my pink slip was a fundraiser for my wife. FML

#3198291 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (7785) - you deserved it (37873)

On 06/25/2009 at 3:20am - misc - by YahItsMe94 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML

#3193922 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (35388) - you deserved it (9739)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by embarrassed4life (woman) - United States (Colorado)