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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31103) - you deserved it (7482)
On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19318) - you deserved it (38462)
Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20395) - you deserved it (2556)
On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13287) - you deserved it (28779)
On 11/28/2010 at 2:10am - intimacy - by apavies444 - United States
Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11145) - you deserved it (29142)
On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23164) - you deserved it (10842)
On 11/27/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8907) - you deserved it (19353)
On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88046) - you deserved it (9128)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12375) - you deserved it (60207)
On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36844) - you deserved it (3190)
On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54396) - you deserved it (7170)
On 08/12/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51486) - you deserved it (2968)
On 08/12/2009 at 12:13am - animals - by jennabean (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13751) - you deserved it (54723)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States
Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML
I agree, your life sucks (61443) - you deserved it (5835)
On 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by overachiever - United States (Illinois)
Today, was my first day back at work since my wife got breast cancer. I come in and see some people with pink slips and frowns. When I get to my desk I find a pink slip, I go up to my boss and start to curse him out for firing me. Only to find out my pink slip was a fundraiser for my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8500) - you deserved it (40610)
On 06/25/2009 at 3:20am - misc - by YahItsMe94 - United States (New Jersey)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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