abetheanimal

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abetheanimal

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 809
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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abetheanimal's page activity

Visits<b>introvertguy</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:54pm

abetheanimal's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

abetheanimal's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

by Kayt / 10/03/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

by Kayt / 10/03/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

by Sabraynay / 09/28/2011 at 2:47am / Intimacy

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

by redeye / 09/19/2011 at 1:03am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

by ohgodwhy / 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

by applesmama / 09/17/2011 at 12:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

by Nublet / 09/07/2011 at 12:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

by foreseeingabreakup / 09/06/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

by ryanlogan / 08/31/2011 at 2:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mirror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML

by acnebutt / 08/27/2011 at 6:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

by lemonhead / 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm / Health

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

by quickfingers100 / 05/22/2011 at 5:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous