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abetheanimal

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abetheanimal

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  • Number of visits : 501
  • Number of comments : 5
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abetheanimal's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

#17892959
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36308) - you deserved it (4079)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

#17892959
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36308) - you deserved it (4079)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25667) - you deserved it (6087)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34863) - you deserved it (2783)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54845) - you deserved it (5409)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

#17777792
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34663) - you deserved it (2019)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by redeye (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

#17773811
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33261) - you deserved it (16778)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25225) - you deserved it (4146)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

#17685496
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30277) - you deserved it (4802)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Nublet (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

#17677106
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31355) - you deserved it (6346)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

#17627394
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32335) - you deserved it (5139)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mirror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML

#17597483
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24409) - you deserved it (4836)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:30pm - health - by acnebutt - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60541) - you deserved it (7450)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21122) - you deserved it (42345)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72344) - you deserved it (3724)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom



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