About abcdefghijklmno : I exist.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was going to volunteer at a soup kitchen. I saw a man working, so I went up to him to ask where I should sign in. Before I even opened my mouth, he told me that they opened at 12 and to come back then for my meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32186) - you deserved it (3230)
On 07/20/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has know for years, except for me and my older brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41349) - you deserved it (1648)
On 07/19/2009 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by whitechocolate (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44378) - you deserved it (1559)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9088) - you deserved it (38513)
On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58510) - you deserved it (8836)
On 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by toomuchmetal (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (178016) - you deserved it (25398)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42218) - you deserved it (5988)
On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55091) - you deserved it (2663)
On 05/26/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29772) - you deserved it (3077)
On 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by dammitall (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7813) - you deserved it (27494)
On 05/15/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by NotSoCool (man) - Singapore
Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26844) - you deserved it (38231)
On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50544) - you deserved it (2801)
On 05/03/2009 at 12:16am - kids - by itswhateverr (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71627) - you deserved it (6057)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by cgold (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14829) - you deserved it (69787)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while at work in a subscription TV call center, a 71 year old male customer went into explicit detail about the Adult's Only programming that he enjoys, including all the kinky things he learns from said programming and tries out on his 70 year old wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60153) - you deserved it (4713)
On 04/28/2009 at 5:44am - intimacy - by Lockie (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Friday 24 May 2013
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