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About abcdefghijklmno : I exist.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25424) - you deserved it (3866)
On 12/17/2009 at 2:57am - work - by Brittanyy_leigh (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years confessed that he was sleeping with me and 5 other girls while we first started dating. He told me he numbered us and rolled a die to see which one he would date. I guess I won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25023) - you deserved it (2299)
On 12/16/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24601) - you deserved it (2874)
On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the doctor to check the dark growth I just discovered on my back. It was chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3871) - you deserved it (26506)
On 12/13/2009 at 10:53pm - health - by sillygoose (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28212) - you deserved it (4002)
On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39180) - you deserved it (2504)
On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27611) - you deserved it (3910)
On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21794) - you deserved it (2927)
On 11/29/2009 at 2:13am - kids - by Granmacathy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46772) - you deserved it (2379)
On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20111) - you deserved it (1954)
On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my guidance counselor told me that I did a really good job playing someone who was really airheaded in my school's play. I wasn't trying to act like an airhead, the director told me that I got cast for the part because the character I was playing was "just like me". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15155) - you deserved it (4359)
On 11/06/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Airhead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21815) - you deserved it (4179)
On 10/24/2009 at 6:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my boyfriend bought me a beautiful pair of very expensive diamond earrings, along with a card that read, "To my beautiful brown eyed Princess." My ears aren't pierced, and my eyes are green. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (2384)
On 10/09/2009 at 12:22am - love - by rhythmbandit (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34136) - you deserved it (2117)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38503) - you deserved it (2780)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
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