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Mobility
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Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22409) - you deserved it (16529)
On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)
Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24343) - you deserved it (3752)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm - love - by mista_sandy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10901) - you deserved it (18804)
On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5211) - you deserved it (16724)
On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22671) - you deserved it (2206)
On 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25267) - you deserved it (1674)
On 03/31/2012 at 11:01pm - love - by spanishsucks - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15208) - you deserved it (2096)
On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)
Today, my husband and I found out that our daughter's chronic stomach aches are due to gluten intolerance, so we need to cut all wheat out of our diet. We're bakers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24624) - you deserved it (1830)
On 03/30/2012 at 2:28pm - kids - by MDWilde (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I gave myself paper cuts on the sides of my mouth while licking the cover of a pudding cup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10564) - you deserved it (8774)
On 03/29/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by scarletscarface (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got more happy birthday wishes on my porn account than my Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8638) - you deserved it (17964)
On 03/27/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by MattBC97 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22237) - you deserved it (4403)
On 03/26/2012 at 10:54am - kids - by ohhdear.___. (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19389) - you deserved it (1827)
On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)
Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18985) - you deserved it (2908)
On 03/23/2012 at 10:23am - health - by cjd - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14811) - you deserved it (3332)
On 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm - misc - by lyla - United States
Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26128) - you deserved it (6805)
On 03/17/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by noneedtostress - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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