abbybailey204

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Offline (the 03/07/2016 at 10:28am)

abbybailey204

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2250
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About abbybailey204 : Hi, I'm Patrick. Most people think I'm funny, and fun to be around. I treat others the way they treat me. Period. You don't piss me off, I don't piss you off. It's how it works. Also, feel free to message me!

abbybailey204's page activity

Visits<b>walid820014</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 1:58pm<b>Jkalia</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 9:34pm<b>LoneWolf2879</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 9:14am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 4:48am<b>pandasaresocute</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:11am<b>ninety</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:06pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 11:24pm<b>Nathan_h24</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 1:51am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:31am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 5:38pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:51pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:19am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 7:58am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:44pm<b>theycallmemerlee</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:39pm<b>FreshToDeathEf</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 11:52pm<b>xxthechosenguyxx</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:06pm

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abbybailey204's favorite FMLs

Today, the mall got evacuated while I was getting my hair colored. I am now standing outside of a crowded mall, wearing a showercap. FML

by tylah / 06/23/2012 at 11:11am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while watching TV with my boyfriend, I was telling him that I wasn't looking forward to "getting older" and turning thirty in three days. Five minutes later, he said, "I never knew you had so much grey hair already" and then offered to help me dye them. FML

by Username / 06/22/2012 at 2:02am / United States / Love

Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML

by Diffy / 04/26/2012 at 7:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML

by I hate nasty people / 04/05/2012 at 12:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my house caught on fire. The firefighters said that it was caused by a lit cigarette on the carpet. I don't smoke, but apparently my 13 year old son does. FML

by no one / 03/29/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 8:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

by BlueBirdWings / 03/06/2012 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

by BlueBirdWings / 03/06/2012 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

by dragynfyre / 03/06/2012 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

by dragynfyre / 03/06/2012 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML

by poop / 02/28/2012 at 2:10am / United States / Transportation

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

by malloreigh / 02/28/2012 at 12:19am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML

Today, during a slow dance, my date wrapped his arms around my waist. Right as I touched his neck he says, "Sorry, I'm slightly sweaty." He wasn't lying. For the longest two minutes of my life I was swimming in his sweat. FML

by SwimminginSweat / 02/27/2012 at 12:12am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while driving, I slowed down and made sure I safely went by a pedestrian, and in the process rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

by me / 02/21/2012 at 6:56pm / United States / Transportation