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abbybailey204

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abbybailey204
  • Town/Country : Burlington, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 909
  • Number of comments : 112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About abbybailey204 : Hi, I'm Patrick. Most people think I'm funny, and fun to be around. I treat others the way they treat me. Period. You don't piss me off, I don't piss you off. It's how it works. Also, feel free to message me!

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100 kick ass comments

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abbybailey204's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML

#19531313
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21934) - you deserved it (1489)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML

#19411830
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19701) - you deserved it (1648)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by I hate nasty people - United States (Indiana)

Today, my house caught on fire. The firefighters said that it was caused by a lit cigarette on the carpet. I don't smoke, but apparently my 13 year old son does. FML

#19370101
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25689) - you deserved it (2398)

On 03/29/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by no one - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27442) - you deserved it (7014)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

#19225607
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14465) - you deserved it (5650)

On 03/06/2012 at 2:20am - misc - by BlueBirdWings (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

#19225607
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14465) - you deserved it (5650)

On 03/06/2012 at 2:20am - misc - by BlueBirdWings (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

#19225170
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19592) - you deserved it (1641)

On 03/06/2012 at 12:37am - work - by dragynfyre - United States (California)

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

#19225170
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19592) - you deserved it (1641)

On 03/06/2012 at 12:37am - work - by dragynfyre - United States (California)

Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML

#19180349
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17947) - you deserved it (11152)

On 02/28/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by poop - United States

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

#19179734
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19514) - you deserved it (3638)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia

Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML

Today, during a slow dance, my date wrapped his arms around my waist. Right as I touched his neck he says, "Sorry, I'm slightly sweaty." He wasn't lying. For the longest two minutes of my life I was swimming in his sweat. FML

#19172113
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19902) - you deserved it (3834)

On 02/27/2012 at 12:12am - love - by SwimminginSweat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26807) - you deserved it (4088)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while driving, I slowed down and made sure I safely went by a pedestrian, and in the process rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#19133346
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6660) - you deserved it (16220)

On 02/21/2012 at 6:56pm - misc - by me (man) - United States

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29466) - you deserved it (4642)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States



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