Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

abbybailey204

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

abbybailey204

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1350
  • Number of comments : 112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About abbybailey204 : Hi, I'm Patrick. Most people think I'm funny, and fun to be around. I treat others the way they treat me. Period. You don't piss me off, I don't piss you off. It's how it works. Also, feel free to message me!

abbybailey204's page activity

Visits<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - yesterday at 11:20am<b>ka1729</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:40pm<b>Stazza11</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 7:02am<b>lotr4</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 9:58pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 12:14pm<b>sweetlips101</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:48am<b>Crossing</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 2:02pm<b>houston1617</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 10:29am<b>Haydes</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:48pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:56pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 10:03pm<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:48am<b>Googolman</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:48pm<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:01am<b>Kamon97</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:22am<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 8:05am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 9:00am<b>socoldmusic13</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 11:10am

abbybailey204's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of abbybailey204's badges

abbybailey204's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59607) - you deserved it (4307)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML

#20693016
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22716) - you deserved it (47808)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm - money - by sammarli530 - United States (Illinois)

Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML

#20632537
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41800) - you deserved it (18364)

On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

#20627240
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50384) - you deserved it (11217)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

#20132312
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23898) - you deserved it (16498)

On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while I was leaving the grocery store, I realized my ignition key was missing from my pocket. After searching the car and retracing my steps, I walked all the way home. Later, when we went to retrieve the car, the key was sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat. FML

Today, my mum found out she's pregnant. I would be happy for her, if she knew who the father was. FML

#20060753
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23904) - you deserved it (1684)

On 09/06/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20380) - you deserved it (8726)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20380) - you deserved it (8726)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11441) - you deserved it (39289)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, I had my end of year physics exam. I wasn't sure about some stuff, so I hid my notes and textbook in the bathroom. Halfway through, I got up, went to the bathroom, and as soon as I picked up the book, forgot what I was looking for. I can't even cheat right. FML

#19879559
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6184) - you deserved it (46955)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

#19838531
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31439) - you deserved it (2945)

On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the mall got evacuated while I was getting my hair colored. I am now standing outside of a crowded mall, wearing a showercap. FML

#19833601
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22090) - you deserved it (2577)

On 06/23/2012 at 11:11am - misc - by tylah - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the mall got evacuated while I was getting my hair colored. I am now standing outside of a crowded mall, wearing a showercap. FML

#19833601
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22090) - you deserved it (2577)

On 06/23/2012 at 11:11am - misc - by tylah - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while watching TV with my boyfriend, I was telling him that I wasn't looking forward to "getting older" and turning thirty in three days. Five minutes later, he said, "I never knew you had so much grey hair already" and then offered to help me dye them. FML

#19827444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17832) - you deserved it (3672)

On 06/22/2012 at 2:02am - misc - by Username (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: