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Mobility
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Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7743) - you deserved it (708)
On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20815) - you deserved it (3896)
On 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by xXangelaXx - United States
Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19448) - you deserved it (6687)
On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)
Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17375) - you deserved it (47461)
On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26472) - you deserved it (2535)
On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26293) - you deserved it (4672)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Ima_Moronski - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26541) - you deserved it (6049)
On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8071) - you deserved it (25413)
On 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm - work - by Meg - United States (Florida)
Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33194) - you deserved it (4649)
On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31120) - you deserved it (1566) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 11:46am - health - by Anonymous - Belgium (Liege)
Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22423) - you deserved it (3567)
On 07/08/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (3818)
On 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13846) - you deserved it (4723)
On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26939) - you deserved it (2856)
On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (5621)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)
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