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aaronclark

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aaronclark

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  • Number of visits : 168
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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aaronclark's favorite FMLs

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41788) - you deserved it (15695)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37835) - you deserved it (6050)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

#20473717
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26932) - you deserved it (2161)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49363) - you deserved it (4757)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

#19369767
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39129) - you deserved it (2443)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26274) - you deserved it (3510)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML

#19033928
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36674) - you deserved it (1895)

On 02/09/2012 at 12:28pm - health - by Ouchies - United States (Colorado)

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

#18070582
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27026) - you deserved it (32406)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51863) - you deserved it (16561)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts "GO F YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML

#13622060
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27198) - you deserved it (3087)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I visited my vacation cabin. I've been planning to sell it, and it was in perfect condition when I last visited about 6 months ago. I walked in the door to find the floor covered in muddy pawprints and bloody remainders of meals. It appears some bears moved in during my absence. FML

#13313277
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25338) - you deserved it (3149)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:46am - misc - by screwthewilderness (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40433) - you deserved it (4405)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found my checking and savings account to both read $0.00. My parents transferred all my money to theirs because "I'm irresponsible, and not fit to handle money." I'm a 3.8 college student and have a full-time job. They are currently unemployed. FML

#6062810
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39004) - you deserved it (3389)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:00pm - misc - by Bummer - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML

#3544767
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65345) - you deserved it (2858)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

#2651635
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70574) - you deserved it (4836)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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