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aali12's FML badges
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aali12's favorite FMLs
by Crissylove10 / 01/18/2010 at 3:12pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having kids. We were outside a hotel in front of those rotating glass doors. One of my friends ran at me as a joke, screaming like a caveman. I freaked out in a high pitched squeal, and tried to run inside the hotel. I ran in the wrong way. FML
by Spac3Ghost / 12/28/2009 at 12:08pm / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was showering, a dark object in the shower kept startling me. After about the fourth time jumping, I realized it was my shadow that was scaring me. I am actually literally afraid of my own shadow. FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2009 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after spending the night at my boyfriend's house, I was heading out the door when he called me back to hand me something I had left at his house a while ago. It was one of my bras. It wasn't until I got home I noticed the cup size was a B. I'm a size D. FML
by Jennagirl / 10/12/2009 at 10:03am / Australia (South Australia) / Love
Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 12:21pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML
by Steve / 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML
by Tygastyle / 06/23/2009 at 1:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML
by Noname / 03/18/2009 at 11:48am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
by SadDad / 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy