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aali12's FML badges
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aali12's favorite FMLs
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by lunarstrain / 11/08/2011 at 1:11am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML
by Grounded / 11/03/2011 at 5:18am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/03/2011 at 3:29am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by yum yogurt / 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by rowanjusmc / 10/26/2011 at 12:31am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/24/2011 at 6:07am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
by pretty_coin / 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 12:07am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
by box bulge / 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm / China / Health
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML
by boopadoop / 10/20/2011 at 1:35pm / United States / Intimacy
by dak-rod423 / 10/15/2011 at 12:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call…