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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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aalcala1703

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aalcala1703
  • Town/Country : Riverside, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 26 January 1984 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 95
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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aalcala1703's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML

#14191848 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (29735) - you deserved it (6728)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29pm - love - by phonesage (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

#14147287 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (41352) - you deserved it (2734)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

#14106944 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (9313) - you deserved it (15056)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

#14068536 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (47442) - you deserved it (6341)

On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -

Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbor, a beam in the couch broke. Not even slightly fazed, she said, "It's okay, my husband can fix it." Husband? FML

#14059458 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (23492) - you deserved it (5734)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by nickyboy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

#13798665 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (42088) - you deserved it (2112) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/11/2010 at 3:40am - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, one of my coworkers called to remind me about the annual costume day at work this morning. I dressed as Pocahontas. There is no annual costume day. I was fired for dressing inappropriately in front of customers. FML

#13595352 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (22023) - you deserved it (4132)

On 10/25/2010 at 9:47pm - work - by pocahontas (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband has been out of town for a week. The only text I've got from him was, "I didn't take a poop today." FML

#12748634 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (20960) - you deserved it (2386)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by TextsAlot (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

#12449914 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (31221) - you deserved it (2842)

On 08/11/2010 at 6:40am - love - by gutsforme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to moisturise my dogs testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (31626) - you deserved it (5212)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627 (285)

I agree, your life sucks (73378) - you deserved it (3572)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (39354) - you deserved it (2849)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)