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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31010) - you deserved it (2683)
On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16323) - you deserved it (30985)
On 07/16/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (28946)
On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)
Today, while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10842) - you deserved it (125237)
On 07/02/2010 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Tim (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50152) - you deserved it (9674)
On 06/24/2010 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by WorstLifeEver - United States
Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7874) - you deserved it (139654)
On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (7341)
On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States
Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54506) - you deserved it (6029)
On 03/28/2010 at 5:04am - intimacy - by GingaNinga - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his bestfriend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40033) - you deserved it (7497)
On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)
Today, my college professor/employer failed to send in a letter I had been counting on for a scholarship application. He has also decided not to pay me for the last two months. I'm not going to make rent. Apparently this is the punishment you get for politely declining a date with a married man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28888) - you deserved it (1746)
On 01/07/2010 at 2:13am - misc - by nothotforteacher (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49583) - you deserved it (2137)
On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, it was my birthday. My parents handed me my present, and when I unwrapped it, there was a cellphone box inside. I was so excited to get a new phone, that I threw my old phone on the floor and stepped on it, while my parents watched in horror. I opened the box to see my phone, only to find a happy birthday card with 20 dollars in it. They'd just reused the box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7767) - you deserved it (39149)
On 01/05/2010 at 5:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22773) - you deserved it (6361)
On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27679) - you deserved it (2399)
On 12/29/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Grounded (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34470) - you deserved it (2458)
On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
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