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aPerfectSonnet's favorite FMLs
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
by bettercallpeta / 02/15/2013 at 12:42am / United States / Animals
by MyLife / 02/06/2013 at 3:04am / Love
by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by ihatemylife / 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 6:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML
by goodlord12 / 01/17/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML
by GiraffeLover / 01/11/2013 at 6:36am / Australia / Love
Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Vastu / 02/07/2010 at 12:42pm / Nepal / Money
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
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- Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off.… Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach… Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at…
- Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me…