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a2z1to11

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a2z1to11

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  • Number of visits : 2602
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a2z1to11's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML

#791194
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53581) - you deserved it (5448)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at QuickTrip. As I was leaving, I passed a woman who was saying "stay" very sternly through her open driver's side door. I smiled as I passed, saying "Your dog wants to follow you huh? I've been there." She glared at me and said "No. That's my son. He's mentally challenged." FML

#628837
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45484) - you deserved it (24096)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:39pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

#438513
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71601) - you deserved it (28143)

On 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by bluten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

#284763
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63212) - you deserved it (21315)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years are in fact my father's pubic hair trimmers. FML

#268093
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58831) - you deserved it (15035)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by nickyniknaim93 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

#234028
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94600) - you deserved it (18551)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML

#194436
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14274) - you deserved it (66736)

On 03/03/2009 at 9:55am - work - by Peter80 (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (228496) - you deserved it (80509)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82541) - you deserved it (10923)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72219) - you deserved it (3780)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

#14570
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (4671)

On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I sang at a retirement home with my school choir. Afterward we went to speak to the old people, just to get to know them a little. The first woman I shake hands with ask "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML

#13743
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (3665)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:02pm - misc - by ChoirGuy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML

#8630
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47356) - you deserved it (2319)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - intimacy - by Sleeper_C3ll (man) - United States (Illinois)



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