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a2z1to11

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a2z1to11

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  • Number of visits : 2869
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Visits<b>underthestars55</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:49pm

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a2z1to11's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

#2209832
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48678) - you deserved it (20986)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States

Today, I was leaving work when some creeper start following me. When he asked me for my name, I immediately gave him a fake one. He just laughed and said “I hope to see you soon.” He used my real name. First AND last. I was still wearing my name tag. FML

Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML

#2140359
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16571) - you deserved it (58497)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by whoopsiedoodle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

#1942963
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30671) - you deserved it (42869)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16993) - you deserved it (94743)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

#1837844
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91990) - you deserved it (4994)

On 05/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by mistake (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138570) - you deserved it (14086)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98794) - you deserved it (22695)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57318) - you deserved it (19953)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94987) - you deserved it (38910)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML

#956665
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30607) - you deserved it (63350)

On 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by grem (woman) - United States

Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML

#925174
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67591) - you deserved it (8683)

On 04/12/2009 at 11:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

#818828
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64427) - you deserved it (17683)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

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