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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, all the while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31289) - you deserved it (2373)
On 08/19/2010 at 11:48am - misc - by feartheend511 - United States (Maryland)
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5593) - you deserved it (26629)
On 08/15/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home. As a volunteer, I'm not supposed to accept any money or gifts from any of the residents. However, one elderly woman kept insisting I take her gold watch. After politely refusing for the fifth time, she decided to chuck it at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24459) - you deserved it (2656)
On 08/15/2010 at 12:39am - work - by ouch (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20299) - you deserved it (13356)
On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for fun. I can't get her to shut up and my little niece and nephew are coming over in three days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22280) - you deserved it (3764)
On 08/04/2010 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by stuckonrepeat (man) - Ireland (Cork)
Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18540) - you deserved it (21131)
On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31653) - you deserved it (7554)
On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States
Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27960) - you deserved it (3847)
On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20555) - you deserved it (5203)
On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22442) - you deserved it (6943)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by SoVeryMonday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4730) - you deserved it (41192)
On 10/30/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by skyhawk13 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53008) - you deserved it (2692)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40092) - you deserved it (123008)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96963) - you deserved it (8077)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53988) - you deserved it (10184)
On 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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