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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34103) - you deserved it (12751)
On 07/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by BigPurplePresent (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43850) - you deserved it (10572)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16927) - you deserved it (40242)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85070) - you deserved it (25502)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, my little brother texted me informing me that our father has "become a nudist" since returning home from a month-long trip abroad. I thought he was joking or exaggerating, but when I went over to say hi, the first thing I saw upon walking through the door was my dad's droopy ball sac. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42553) - you deserved it (2863)
On 07/24/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by mubaki (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33794) - you deserved it (3917)
On 07/24/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by umbrella (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48132) - you deserved it (20197)
On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13063) - you deserved it (53421)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States
Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35912) - you deserved it (20729)
On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)
Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42312) - you deserved it (1987)
On 07/20/2009 at 12:04am - love - by thicklysettled (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35491) - you deserved it (13673)
On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28253) - you deserved it (7956)
On 07/19/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went into a restaurant and sat at a bar near three guys who appeared to be 19 or 20. They did not acknowledge me. 15 minutes later, my burger arrived. They all ran over to ask me about it. I haven't been hit on in months. My cheeseburger is more attractive to men than I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34021) - you deserved it (4633)
On 07/19/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by Tasty (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20337) - you deserved it (44847)
On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I woke up feeling a tingling sensation on my testicles. I enjoyed it for a few seconds, then threw off the covers. Looks like there have been cockroaches in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44238) - you deserved it (7100)
On 07/18/2009 at 6:48am - misc - by fartypeepee (man) - Australia (Queensland)
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