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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37363) - you deserved it (9230)
On 08/31/2009 at 1:18am - work - by Timmah (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47109) - you deserved it (14076)
On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (2851)
On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I went on our 2nd date. We decided to get to know each other with a game. I asked him what makes him nervous. He said "talking to really attractive girls." I then asked him if I was making him nervous. He said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36060) - you deserved it (10504)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61166) - you deserved it (4233)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML
I agree, your life sucks (51381) - you deserved it (2172)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)
Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33407) - you deserved it (4692)
On 07/29/2009 at 1:42am - love - by Ouch (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59274) - you deserved it (5185)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35038) - you deserved it (9444)
On 07/24/2009 at 2:40am - love - by vanguardwiley (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33354) - you deserved it (5631)
On 07/02/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML
I agree, your life sucks (45295) - you deserved it (4630)
On 06/22/2009 at 9:32am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33933) - you deserved it (2893)
On 06/20/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Bob (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18712) - you deserved it (81304)
On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85939) - you deserved it (50905)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24333) - you deserved it (224111)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
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