Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

_micah

Search for a member

_micah

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 November 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1002
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

_micah's page activity

Visits<b>SilverPseudoKing</b> - the 01/22/2012 at 5:57pm<b>craigahh</b> - the 09/03/2009 at 10:03am

_micah's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

_micah's favorite FMLs

Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML

#4945684
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45605) - you deserved it (13796)

On 08/31/2009 at 1:18am - work - by Timmah (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

#4861565
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41308) - you deserved it (19452)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

#4713882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36272) - you deserved it (4115)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went on our 2nd date. We decided to get to know each other with a game. I asked him what makes him nervous. He said "talking to really attractive girls." I then asked him if I was making him nervous. He said no. FML

#4627124
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43566) - you deserved it (14307)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

#4619260
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73768) - you deserved it (5887)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML

#4618484
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61308) - you deserved it (3203)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

#4125421
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40521) - you deserved it (6192)

On 07/29/2009 at 1:42am - love - by Ouch (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

#4125421
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40521) - you deserved it (6192)

On 07/29/2009 at 1:42am - love - by Ouch (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

#3998492
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70549) - you deserved it (7029)

On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML

#3998024
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43262) - you deserved it (12584)

On 07/24/2009 at 2:40am - love - by vanguardwiley (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I fart. FML

#3414580
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41197) - you deserved it (7817)

On 07/02/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

#3115220
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55902) - you deserved it (6606)

On 06/22/2009 at 9:32am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML

#3048496
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41294) - you deserved it (4206)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Bob (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24540) - you deserved it (110025)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119741) - you deserved it (74046)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: