About _krystallynn_ : okayy, about mee. i can be a sarcastic bitch sometimes, I'm verrry opinionated, i like animals and cute things LOL. i tend to piss people off, even when i don't mean to:/ . if you're nice to me, i will definitely be nice to you:) follow me on instagramm:D xxitsxkrystalxx LMFAO uhh. im bored of writing thiss, so your probly bored of reading it LOL uhmm. byeee:P ✌
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_krystallynn_'s favorite FMLs
Today, I finally got the courage to tell the guy I liked how I felt by making him a mixed CD. Confident, I gave it to him. After class, I went to the trash can to throw some paper away. I saw my mixed CD in the trash. FML
by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 1:04am / United States / Love
by toolegittoquit / 01/18/2010 at 3:28am / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
by Anonymous / 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML
by iJehx / 07/13/2009 at 6:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML
by coral / 07/08/2009 at 1:51pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I text her angry, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. 5 Minutes later I get a picture message of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother saying "Shut the **** up, she had appendicitis." FML
by annoyedguy / 06/30/2009 at 7:20am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML
by boinger / 06/03/2009 at 1:23am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 9:24am / Ireland (Wexford) / Miscellaneous
Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML
by schoolgrlstaci / 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML
by ubbernoob / 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health
Today, on a thirty minute commute to a job interview, I felt the urge to pee. When I got there, I politely asked the receptionist where the toilets were, and she told me to wait for someone to come show me. After another thirty minutes, someone turned up; the HR manager. FML
by No name / 12/17/2008 at 11:43pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…