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_krystallynn_

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_krystallynn_
  • Town/Country : i dont think its your buisness:/, USA motherfuckerss
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 August 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 698
  • Number of comments : 241
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About _krystallynn_ : okayy, about mee. i can be a sarcastic bitch sometimes, I'm verrry opinionated, i like animals and cute things LOL. i tend to piss people off, even when i don't mean to:/ . if you're nice to me, i will definitely be nice to you:) follow me on instagramm:D xxitsxkrystalxx LMFAO uhh. im bored of writing thiss, so your probly bored of reading it LOL uhmm. byeee:P ✌

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_krystallynn_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

#20503454
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11585) - you deserved it (29084)

On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27403) - you deserved it (1646)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27055) - you deserved it (4042)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31301) - you deserved it (4025)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting a haircut. The lady accusingly told me she'd have to thoroughly wash my hair before she started, as it was way too greasy to cut through. FML

#20473123
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7764) - you deserved it (37561)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:18pm - misc - by Whoops (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML

#20472626
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8533) - you deserved it (32162)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:50am - love - by Roxy19 - United States (California)

Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML

#20465975
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12274) - you deserved it (36549)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:55am - love - by Shuttie (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18288) - you deserved it (34134)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, during an hour-long drive, my sister told me she's lost her "faith in humanity", because one of her friends bought his 8-year-old son an iPad. She uses this stupid expression all the time, and I got so pissed off that I forgot to brake at a red light, rear-ending the car in front of us. FML

#20454301
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9642) - you deserved it (45276)

On 01/11/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by lostmyfaithinblowjobs (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17225) - you deserved it (4888)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30210) - you deserved it (3334)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39847) - you deserved it (2514)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

#20431454
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16399) - you deserved it (35729)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49370) - you deserved it (6800)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States



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