_anonymoose_

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_anonymoose_

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7114
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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_anonymoose_'s page activity

Visits<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:00pm<b>antigravityfall</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:36am<b>Ilikepie82479</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:06am<b>MikanDeath</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:48pm<b>ares99</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:03pm<b>Jaybob98</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:08pm<b>blondie1504</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 6:16pm<b>mcr2000</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:16pm<b>Lop0</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 9:04pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 11:56pm<b>kingofswedes</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 2:34am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:02pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 9:29am<b>marcoe</b> - the 12/20/2009 at 4:03am<b>Ciurchi</b> - the 11/22/2009 at 4:59am<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/18/2009 at 4:31pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 1:11am<b>Daaniellee1234</b> - the 09/21/2009 at 1:37am

_anonymoose_'s FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

_anonymoose_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML

by blind_date / 09/13/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

by Cherie / 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML

by Screwupify / 08/06/2009 at 11:05am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. After a few minutes of conversing, he told me he didn't need to give me a ticket. He then asked for a date. I politely declined. After staring at me for a very long moment, he said "I think I'm going to have to give you that ticket after all." FML

by WearingOff / 08/03/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

by Divorcemenow / 07/17/2009 at 6:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

by dad / 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

by dad / 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

by apparentlyugly / 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm / United States / Love

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got a F. FML

by crazyjohnny / 06/01/2009 at 2:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 11:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I told my ex boyfriend I lost 20 lbs because of the stress of the break up. His response was "you're welcome." FML

by blutownie13 / 04/09/2009 at 6:11pm / United States / Love