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__matt__1994

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__matt__1994

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 445
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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__matt__1994's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning grl reading . I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter . She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled . After that, she left . It was a sex position book . FML

#19853793
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7790) - you deserved it (33740)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)

I came home to mah boyfriend emptying his bowels into mah aquarium . mega FML

#19775676
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28247) - you deserved it (2754)

On 06/12/2012 at 9:02am - love - by fledermausi (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today , I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly lyk my ex-girlfriend. So now , whenever I shower , I'm showered with depression. FML

#19766559
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25181) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/10/2012 at 5:14pm - love - by anon - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, ma parents decided on ma punisment 4 failing an Englis test. No deodorant 4 a week. Tey tink tey're so ilarious, tey told all tere friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML

#19555770
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25379) - you deserved it (3716)

On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was issud with a £60 fine fir bieng parkd in a supermarket car-park fir more than 3 hours!! I work there!! FML

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh looool hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since yur initial rip." FML

#19489197
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24329) - you deserved it (5912)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of themho was quite attractive . He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face . He apologized, and I then 4 some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19248) - you deserved it (36902)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

yesterday my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had rritable bowel syndrome... on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. mega FML

#19440053
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25279) - you deserved it (2914)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)

TODAY I HAD TO PICK MY 22-YEAR-OLD SON UP FROM THE HOSPITAL AFTER HE GOT BLIND DRUNK GOT HIS HAND STUCK IN A PRINGLES CAN AND GOT THE BRIGHT IDEA OF STAGGERING TO THE LOCAL ER TO GET IT CUT OFF!!

#19438168
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22569) - you deserved it (2531)

On 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on mah bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently mah mom has boundary issues, mah dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing . FML

#19437878
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27751) - you deserved it (2573)

On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I got looool mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. mega FML

#19434352
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33820) - you deserved it (3100)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my coworker was talking to me about how there's always that one person in a group of friends that everyone secretly dislikes and laughs looool at . I realized that person is me . FML

#19434317
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21998) - you deserved it (2542)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Foreveralone (woman) - United States

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationsip. One of my buddies said, "You're ceating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw tis and went completely nuts, not giving me a cance to explain tat "Jill" is just a eupemism 4 yur and. FML

#19401228
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27493) - you deserved it (5340)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by jackmehoffa (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Taday I called my grlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16815) - you deserved it (30207)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that sax in tha woods is amazing. I also found that tha roar of a naarby baar will and tha amazamant. Not only was I cock blockad by a baar, I almost shit mysalf. big fat FML

#19323804
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28272) - you deserved it (6486)

On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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