_Murderface_

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_Murderface_

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 454
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About _Murderface_ : Warning: Side effects include extreme dazzle and spontaneous jizzing at the very sight of him. Beware.

Also, I enjoy playing bass, and I'm in a record-breaking deathmetal/classical group called Chopin Block. Actually, fuck that, CB isn't even close to record-breaking. I enjoy decorating cakes.

You are most likely wondering why my default pic is a woman. Well, she is no ordinary woman. She is Lzzy Hale, vocalist, lead guitarist, and frontwoman for newcomer metal band Halestorm. She is also the love of my life. LOL JK I'm just madly in love with her. So have at it. (Picture of yours truly will be up soon.)

Bacon is my best friend.

Welcome to _Murderface_'s page.

_Murderface_'s page activity

Visits<b>paigexox0</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 8:17pm<b>FinJage</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 6:09am

_Murderface_'s FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

_Murderface_'s favorite FMLs

Today, while cleaning around the house, I found a black bra that wasn’t mine. I confronted my husband about it, which turned into a massive fight. It turned out that the bra actually belonged to my son’s girlfriend I didn’t know he had. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2010 at 12:24pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Kids

Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This would include: nazi symbols, white power, and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominately black neighborhood. FML

by ... / 02/10/2010 at 4:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

by kingmetal42 / 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

by justme / 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm / Kids

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

by utensils123 / 02/09/2010 at 1:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

by chris / 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML

by teeeessst / 12/13/2009 at 1:26am / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML

by graospe / 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

by SeeMeInTheDark / 12/07/2009 at 3:54am / United States (Maryland) / Animals

Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML

by soupduped / 12/05/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

by Mojo_Jojo / 06/13/2009 at 7:01am / China (Beijing) / Love

Today, I introduced my ex-wife to my new girlfriend. They got along so well that my new girlfriend is going to my ex-wife's house tonight "just to hang out". FML

by Michael / 06/13/2009 at 6:35am / United States (West Virginia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.