About _Murderface_ : Warning: Side effects include extreme dazzle and spontaneous jizzing at the very sight of him. Beware.
Also, I enjoy playing bass, and I'm in a record-breaking deathmetal/classical group called Chopin Block. Actually, fuck that, CB isn't even close to record-breaking. I enjoy decorating cakes.
You are most likely wondering why my default pic is a woman. Well, she is no ordinary woman. She is Lzzy Hale, vocalist, lead guitarist, and frontwoman for newcomer metal band Halestorm. She is also the love of my life. LOL JK I'm just madly in love with her. So have at it. (Picture of yours truly will be up soon.)
Bacon is my best friend.
Welcome to _Murderface_'s page.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while cleaning around the house, I found a black bra that wasn’t mine. I confronted my husband about it, which turned into a massive fight. It turned out that the bra actually belonged to my son’s girlfriend I didn’t know he had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9013) - you deserved it (18306)
On 02/10/2010 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - Lebanon (Beyrouth)
Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This would include: nazi symbols, white power, and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominately black neighborhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24989) - you deserved it (2936)
On 02/10/2010 at 4:08am - misc - by ... - United States
Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9279) - you deserved it (16920)
On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29415) - you deserved it (3942)
On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22310) - you deserved it (1384)
On 02/09/2010 at 1:40am - health - by utensils123 (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8570) - you deserved it (16879)
On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18694) - you deserved it (17700)
On 12/13/2009 at 1:26am - health - by teeeessst (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7344) - you deserved it (18995)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by graospe (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10263) - you deserved it (25842)
On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21369) - you deserved it (2199)
On 12/07/2009 at 3:54am - animals - by SeeMeInTheDark (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10399) - you deserved it (23665)
On 12/05/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by soupduped (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36199) - you deserved it (17629)
On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42177) - you deserved it (4509)
On 06/13/2009 at 7:01am - love - by Mojo_Jojo (woman) - China (Beijing)
Today, I introduced my ex-wife to my new girlfriend. They got along so well that my new girlfriend is going to my ex-wife's house tonight "just to hang out". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40163) - you deserved it (16768)
On 06/13/2009 at 6:35am - love - by Michael (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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