_Jess_Mac_

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_Jess_Mac_

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 465
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About _Jess_Mac_ : My life is almost as screwed up as these posts. Why else would I be on here?

_Jess_Mac_'s FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of _Jess_Mac_'s badges

_Jess_Mac_'s favorite FMLs

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML

by cmc9540 / 09/26/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I started my new job. Less than one hour into the day, my boss told me that the reason he hired me was that I was the least attractive of everyone he interviewed, so I'd be less likely to cause a distraction. FML

by Annette / 09/22/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

by Grauncho / 09/22/2012 at 10:12am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

by holyshitbatman / 09/22/2012 at 10:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

by ak_6694 / 09/22/2012 at 3:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to suffer through a four hour flight beside my ex. Yesterday, I proposed, on the last day of our vacation. She said no. FML

by Flighted / 09/22/2012 at 12:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML

by Pissed / 09/21/2012 at 7:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML

by hopelesscollegestudent / 09/21/2012 at 12:22pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML

by Sad ex-wife / 09/21/2012 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Love

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

by scarred for life / 09/21/2012 at 6:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML

by annonymous / 09/19/2012 at 2:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

by GMD / 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Health