_Fmyknife_

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_Fmyknife_

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 May 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 571
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About _Fmyknife_ : Jesus is my only friend :(

_Fmyknife_'s page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:25pm<b>heroin</b> - the 03/12/2010 at 12:25am

_Fmyknife_'s FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

_Fmyknife_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 12:59am / United States / Health

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

by adad / 02/01/2010 at 9:34am / Animals

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

by Fatty / 12/27/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

by creepyguy / 12/26/2009 at 7:06am / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation

Today, my family and I are driving down to France and it's going to take 4 hours. If that wasn't bad enough, my mum decides that she is going to listen to the CD my sister bought her for Christmas on repeat for the whole journey. It's Lady Gaga. FML

by OhGodKillMeNow / 12/26/2009 at 6:42am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Holidays

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

by BathroomMuch / 12/25/2009 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my 25 year old brother ran into my room very excited at 8am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited so I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious he said "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML

by MessyMal / 12/25/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there, to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride: 1 - Getting Laid: 0. FML

by razgriz1 / 08/20/2009 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Love