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Zya's favorite FMLs
Today, I arrived home. I'd left for a business trip 5 days earlier, and trusted my husband with our young boys. As soon as I stepped in the door, I noticed my son had thinner hair than when I'd left. He then showed me an empty container of Nair. FML
by ProudMama / 01/07/2012 at 7:50pm / United States (Nebraska) / Kids
Today, I ignored my phone, as my mother has dementia and calls me 15 or so times a day, thinking each time is the first. I braved horrendous rain and gale-force winds to go to work. Turns out it was work calling to tell me not to bother coming in. FML
by sparkx555 / 01/03/2012 at 11:07am / United Kingdom (London) / Work
by myjobsucks / 12/12/2011 at 9:15pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by unknown / 12/12/2011 at 9:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out selling Christmas-themed calendars for charity door-to-door. I rang a doorbell and a wild-eyed man appeared at the door, shouted about being "on nights" and that I'd woken him up, called me a "bell end", threw a newspaper at me and slammed the door in my face. FML
by firemansam / 12/12/2011 at 6:36am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 5:51pm / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Health
by brokenbabe / 06/21/2011 at 10:38pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by minnEmouse / 06/20/2011 at 10:40pm / United States / Love
by drycleanplz / 06/20/2011 at 10:33pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by shyshy96679 / 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by heather / 06/20/2011 at 6:25pm / Canada / Love
by Anonymous / 06/18/2011 at 9:11pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
by iDisable / 06/18/2011 at 8:27pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a flight home. I wasn't going to arrive until midnight, so I was offered an earlier flight that got back at ten. I got to baggage claims and it turned out they lost my bag. I sat there for 2 hours. The people on my original flight left for home before I did. FML
by me / 06/18/2011 at 7:54pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML
by Anonyme / 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals