About Zuisho : Bitch please.
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Zuisho's favorite FMLs
Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 04/15/2013 at 10:20pm / United States / Love
by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/14/2013 at 10:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, as a learner driver, I embarked on my longest drive ever: back home, from Sydney to Melbourne, which is around a 700km drive. I managed to get the whole way without any problems. I crashed into my driveway. FML
by aaaaahhhh / 04/06/2013 at 4:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML
by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god / 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm / Singapore / Health
Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Work
by SayCheese / 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML
by pissed_off_girl / 03/31/2013 at 10:59pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by roomatewoes / 03/31/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML
by Mr.no contacts / 03/31/2013 at 3:00am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my neighbours came to yell at me as they could hear my "shit music" through my window during the afternoon, so I turned it off. They then began to play their definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. FML
by BornInTheWrongEra / 03/31/2013 at 2:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/31/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. 10 minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML
by My Life Is Just PERFECT / 03/30/2013 at 11:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML
by crunknasty / 03/30/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Kids