About Zuisho : Bitch please.
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Zuisho's favorite FMLs
Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by conbon123 / 04/29/2013 at 3:20am / United States (Oregon) / Animals
by Beth / 04/28/2013 at 9:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 11:34am / United States / Miscellaneous
by whathehell / 04/27/2013 at 4:28am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML
by revan546 / 04/26/2013 at 9:23am / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals
Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML
by really_now / 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm / United States (Nevada) / Transportation
by emma_waters23 / 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/25/2013 at 3:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2013 at 11:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML
by goingtobeevicted / 04/25/2013 at 2:28am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
by Skyler / 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by fiercehawk / 04/24/2013 at 2:23am / United States (Indiana) / Health
by anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 12:55am / Germany / Work
Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML
by Magicali / 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…