About Zuisho : Bitch please.
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This isn't what should be happening
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Zuisho's favorite FMLs
by Agax / 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML
by CelibateHero / 10/05/2013 at 2:31am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML
by vcarder / 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML
by WTF? / 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 1:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML
by noweddingforyou / 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by blackcat37 / 09/28/2013 at 6:53am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/26/2013 at 12:19pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML
by scared shitless in ohio / 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
by dadyoureacunt / 09/21/2013 at 9:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, after hours of non-stop work on an important case, I cheeringly blurted out, "And now, time…