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Zorori's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Zorori's favorite FMLs
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML
by fuck wannabe knowitalls / 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm / Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie) / Intimacy
by soreloser / 05/20/2013 at 2:32am / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
by jfc, how just how / 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
by Sarsippius / 05/18/2013 at 1:22am / Love
by well great. / 05/17/2013 at 6:28pm / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
by -1 friend / 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
by Sonofa / 05/17/2013 at 11:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by presente13 / 05/17/2013 at 12:35am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML
by LordCrafte / 05/15/2013 at 7:43pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/15/2013 at 4:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML
by lackadaisy_leah / 05/15/2013 at 12:12pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 05/15/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Love
- Today, I walked into my room to find my roommate's boyfriend trying on one of my pink, lacy bras.… Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned,… Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at…