Zorori

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Offline (the 06/13/2015 at 11:34am)

Zorori

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3256
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Zorori's page activity

Visits<b>hatemylife45</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 1:22am<b>caesar78</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:23pm<b>hunter818</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 4:51am<b>flmw</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 10:37pm<b>Clearly</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 7:18pm

Zorori's FML badges

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Zorori's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

by Catcrap! / 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

by kids next door / 11/18/2013 at 5:14am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I decided to confront my friend who has been stealing from me for months. She denied it, while wearing a pair of my pants. FML

by CODgirl102 / 11/16/2013 at 12:17am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

by katchoo / 11/03/2013 at 2:34am / Denmark / Animals

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I asked my students to buy a copy of Anne Frank's diary for an assignment. One of them asked me in all seriousness who wrote it. FML

by Huedadaa / 10/18/2013 at 8:05pm / France (Picardie) / Kids

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

by DocBastard, meet DocCunt / 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

by Mike Messenger / 10/05/2013 at 9:51am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML

by iet_Wyrda / 10/04/2013 at 7:00pm / Animals

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

by Kyra.45 / 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy