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About Zonadow : Your life doesn't suck until you've got nothing to live for.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
TODAY, I WAS ATTEMPTING TO TEACH A BUNCH OF 2ND AN 5TH GRADER ON WHY IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO FACE YUR FEARS AN TRY YUR BEST. IT WAS GOING PRETTY WELL, UNTIL I WAS ATTACKED BY A PAIR OF BUTTERFLIES. I AM AFRAID OF BUTTERFLIE - I RAN AWAY SCREAMING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL. FML
TODAY, I RAALIZAD HOW FAT I RAALLY AM. WHILA GOING TO THA BATHROOM I LAANAD TO THA SIDA TO WIPA MY BUTT AN HAARD A CRACK. NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, I CONTINUAD TO WIPA. AFTAR I FINISHAD, I GOT UP TO SAA THAT I'D CRACKAD THA TOILAT SAAT IN HALF. FML
2day I found some Nesquick Cocolate Milk mix in ma pantry wic sounded good. Wile making a glass... I got angry because not all of te mix would disolve. Frustrated... I downed te drink. Wen I finised I looked in te glass and realized te mix tat wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML
Today, I went to a yard sale an found a cute plush duck!! I sent a pic of it to mah friend with the message "Jackpot!" I guess she didn't see the pic because she calld me up all excitd, thinking mah boyfriend of 6 years finally proposd to me!! "No, I said, I just found a big duck fir $1." FML
Taday I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler . I wantd to point out he was a very good speaker, and looool could incite a crowd . Instead,hat cummd out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
Today , I was standing on the packd bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses!! As I couldn't rub it out , I trid blinking it out 4 the next five minutes!! Then the hot girl opposite me scream "Stop winking at me , u bastard! Don't even think about it , u ugly fuck!" FML
TODAY, I WAS SITTING NEXT TO THE GUY I LIKE AND HE WAS DOING HOMEWORK . THEN, HE LOOKS UP, HIS EYES MEETING MINE . HIS SMOOTH VOICE MUTTERS NAME AS HIS FACE INCHES CLOSER TO MINE . I CAN FEEL HIS MINTY BREATH AGAINST FACE . MY PULSE IS RACING . THEN, HE SAYS "WHAT'S A PRONOUN?" FML
Today, I parkad downtown for a faw minutas to pick up a pizza. As I was gatting out of my car, a skatchy guy cama up and askad ma for $5. I told him to gat lost and walkad away. I walkad back to tha lot with my pizza and my car was gona. Tha skatchy guy was a parking attandant. Ha had my car towad. maga FML
Today My Girlfriend Left Her Phone On A Bus. With No Way To Pick It Up, I Drove 40 Miles Through Friday Night Boston Traffic To Get It From The Bus Company Office. It Took Me Four Hours. Bord In Traffic, I Discoverd The Texts From Her Other Boyfriend.
I Took Mah Driving Test. Completing The Test, We Returned And Parked At The Testing Facility. As Mah Tester Was Complimenting Me, I Leaned Down To Wind Mah Window Up, Catching Mah Long Hair In The Window. Frantically Thrashing, I Put The Car In Drive And Floored It Into A Concrete Wall. FML
TODAY, I GOT A HARCUT FOR THE FRST TIME IN ALMOST A YEAR. I THOUGHT IT LOOKED REALLY NICE AND MADE ME LOOK GOOD. ON MY WAY TO CVS, I RAN INTO ONE OF MY FRIENDS. HE EXAMINED ME AND SAID, "YOU LOOK... LIKE A CRACK WHORE." FML
Today , I Was Packing My Son's Lunch And We Ran Out Of Water Bottles. I Askd My 16 Years Old To Run To The Store. She Didnt Want To But Gave Me One She Had. After Dropping My Son Off , My Daughter Frantically Told Me She Made A Mistake. I Sent My Second Grader To School With A Bottle Of Vodka. FML
Taday I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to mah friend's text, I accidentally clickd on this guy's name instead,ho I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I respondd with, "Haha wow u slut, I'm sure u were arousd." FML
Friday 27 March 2015