Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zomlette

Search for a member

Zomlette

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4968
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Zomlette's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:53pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 8:55am<b>sodapop83</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 1:28pm<b>jubejube239</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:16pm<b>vb68</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 5:32pm<b>Tomgirl_Julie</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:14pm<b>Sydd1799</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 3:08am<b>StacyRenae</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 12:50am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 11:04pm<b>lovepandorasaver</b> - the 04/04/2012 at 6:15pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:26pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 04/27/2011 at 9:44pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:15am<b>ha</b> - the 01/02/2010 at 2:10pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/30/2009 at 10:01pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 11/01/2009 at 10:34am<b>TC1</b> - the 10/23/2009 at 6:29am<b>Soup</b> - the 10/18/2009 at 9:59pm

Zomlette's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Zomlette's favorite FMLs

TODAY, I GOT AN EMAIL FROM THE COMPANY THAT MANAGES MY CAT'S MICROCHIP INFORMING ME THAT I HAD TO UPDATE MY INFORMATION THAT HAD BEEN ENTERED BY THE LOCAL HUMANE SOCIETY. APPARENTLY, THEY LISTED MY CAT ( CORAL ) AS THE OWNER, AND ME AS THE PET. TO CHANGE IT, THEY NEEDED THE CAT'S SIGNATURE. FML

#5663418
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48605) - you deserved it (3940)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes" !! My hand slipped to the right and it cummed out as "I really love Herpes !! It's much better than everyone says it is" !! I didn't notice for few hours !! FML

#4774065
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21666) - you deserved it (39012)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

I was at te mall an someone peeked tier ead under te door of my dressing room wile I was alf dressed. Not knowing wo it was, I kicked im in te face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking 4 is moter. FML

#4137553
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52495) - you deserved it (21631)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, mah friend thought it would be funny to putted a pretzel on mah forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of mah head. FML

#3816010
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43902) - you deserved it (8985)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while talking on the phone with mah long distance boyfriend, he let me know that he was getting married in August to "some girl" fir his papers. After I objected he told me, "well you can marry me if you want." I'm not sure if I just got dumped or proposed to. FML

#3804007
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45346) - you deserved it (5227)

On 07/16/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Taday At The Restaurant I Work At, I Gave A Man Back His Change An Told Him To Enjoy The Sunny Day. He Replied By Dramatically Saying That The Sun Was His Mortal Enemy. Thinking He Was Joking, I Asked Him If He Was A Vampire. Turns Out He Has Skin Cancer.

#3420908
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43435) - you deserved it (14965)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by Kristache (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the doctor 4 a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on mah left rib cage that I've hatd most of mah life. Recently I've learnd to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it today and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on mah side all mah life. FML

#3400206
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59345) - you deserved it (6606)

On 07/01/2009 at 4:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

2DAY I WAS IN MAH NEW BOYFRIEND'S APARTMENT FIR THE FRST TIME. AS I WAS FLIPPING THROUGH HIS PHOTO ALBUMS, I CUMMED ACROSS ONE FULL OF DISTURBINGLY CANDID PICTURES OF ME. I FOUND SOME AS EARLY AS MAH TRIP TO THE STATE FAIR, THREE YERES AGO. I MET MAH BOYFRIEND TWO MONTHS AGO. FML

#3398201
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (154884) - you deserved it (9877)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

2day I hered my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door... "Are u jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up u fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
821 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123613) - you deserved it (75599)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground an saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could an began flailing mah arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. real FML

#2649932
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11853) - you deserved it (49724)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Yesterday, I was taking a bath an out of boredom started making sheep noises . I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises . When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room...here my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing . mega FML

#2637147
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21341) - you deserved it (69534)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

today me and mah grlfriend went paintballing. looool I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The frst time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

#2268591
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17634) - you deserved it (48865)

On 05/25/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by AquaRevolver (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: