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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40784) - you deserved it (2979)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17707) - you deserved it (29393)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44612) - you deserved it (16110)
On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91521) - you deserved it (27407)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41980) - you deserved it (5258)
On 07/26/2009 at 12:37am - intimacy - by PTKFML (woman) - United States
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzle-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36795) - you deserved it (6876)
On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while talking on the phone with my long distance boyfriend, he let me know that he was getting married in August to "some girl" for his papers. After I objected he told me, "well you can marry me if you want." I'm not sure if I just got dumped or proposed to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38718) - you deserved it (3951)
On 07/16/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36742) - you deserved it (11261)
On 07/02/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by Kristache (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to the doctor for a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on my left rib cage that I've hated most of my life. Recently I've learned to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it today and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on my side all my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50139) - you deserved it (4786)
On 07/01/2009 at 4:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (119172) - you deserved it (5918)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97174) - you deserved it (56305)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9466) - you deserved it (37288)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17479) - you deserved it (54631)
On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24594) - you deserved it (48779)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14274) - you deserved it (36659)
On 05/25/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by AquaRevolver (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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