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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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ZombieKnickers's favorite FMLs
by NickC / 11/28/2009 at 5:16am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous
by Cornbreesha / 11/28/2009 at 2:13am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went shopping with some friends. We were tired from walking around the mall all night, so we decided to sit and relax at a table. I was about to close my eyes when I got smacked on the forehead by an orange falling from the second floor of the mall. FML
by Orangehead / 11/28/2009 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Nobody / 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML
by hanzastfu / 10/26/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (California) / Love
by Roida / 10/26/2009 at 6:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by stupiddddddd / 07/08/2009 at 3:28am / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
by SimpleSimon / 06/30/2009 at 8:14pm / United Kingdom (Herefordshire) / Intimacy
by dazedandconfused / 06/25/2009 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (Harrow) / Work
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
by SleepyKirsty / 06/09/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
- Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he… Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the… Today, my father decided that since he's paying for my flat, he will use it twice a week to have it…
- Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, after spending months comparing the previous weather forecasts to work out the exact date,…