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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
ZombieKnickers's favorite FMLs
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
by fed up/turned off / 10/02/2013 at 1:47am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Username / 05/29/2011 at 12:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I asked my kids if I looked good before going to work. Smiling, they told me I looked wonderful. It wasn't until I got to work and looked into the mirror until I noticed my left eyebrow was gone. FML
by tb351 / 05/28/2011 at 7:37pm / United States / Kids
by valerie / 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I got out of bed and immediately went to the window as it was supposed to snow today. I saw a man walking his dog and he waved at me. I waved back enthusiastically and realised I was naked. FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 6:47am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals
Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML
by .... / 12/31/2009 at 1:23am / Canada (Manitoba) / Health
by Anonymous. / 12/31/2009 at 12:23am / United States / Love
Today, after buying over $300 worth of food and alcohol, I found out all my friends aren't coming to my New Years party but headed to the BIG party at the local club. The one which I sold my ticket to after my friends convinced me to throw a party instead. FML
by 20 / 12/30/2009 at 7:28pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML
by cheaters_should_die / 12/18/2009 at 9:31am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my boyfriend asked me why I chose to date him. After going on for five minutes about how unique and funny he is, I ask him the same question. His reply? "You were the first person to ask me out." He then rolled over and fell asleep. FML
by Fluory / 12/07/2009 at 9:43am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Twiddle / 12/07/2009 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by CH / 12/07/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/07/2009 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Clause isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML
by TooTallNiCo / 11/28/2009 at 12:36pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Anon. / 11/28/2009 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Love
- Today, my fiancé threatened to break up with me if our dog couldn't be the best man at our wedding.… Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it.… Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left…