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Zic's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did every one else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML
by babymomma / 09/14/2009 at 10:13am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML
by itisthedude / 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
by Udxero / 09/10/2009 at 3:51am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by FAIL / 09/08/2009 at 1:29am / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
by HeShe / 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML
by WTF / 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by sexyfreak2510 / 09/03/2009 at 2:47am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous
Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML
by Anonymous / 08/31/2009 at 4:38pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
by wtfman101 / 08/28/2009 at 10:56am / United States (California) / Transportation
by secretdeo / 08/24/2009 at 12:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a party at my house. When my parents came home, my dad asked how the party was. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about, to which he responded "Well the puke all over the driveway begs to differ." FML
by chacha_bby / 08/23/2009 at 1:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by urmommmm / 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
by Ben / 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML
by sophistication / 08/21/2009 at 11:36am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML
by ihatemylife / 08/20/2009 at 1:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Love