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Zeus1070

Offline (the 12/26/2014 at 10:58am) | Search for a member

Zeus1070

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 988
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Zeus1070's page activity

Visits<b>tooyoungtooold</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 6:34pm<b>heyyjessi</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 7:27am<b>tintaroja</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 6:23pm<b>erjazo</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:19pm<b>appleluver7</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 7:34pm<b>A7XfanfoREVer28</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 12:50pm<b>supersavvy</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 5:06pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 2:48pm<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 5:26am<b>friedchickenpie</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 2:29pm<b>rttr</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 10:06pm<b>oj101</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 4:15am<b>jonnied23</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 10:11pm<b>SokDek</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 2:31am<b>Ozuru</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 2:11pm<b>sheethapins</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 11:04am

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Zeus1070's favorite FMLs

Today I Witnessed My Very Overweight Cat Trying To Jump Over My Fence Only To Shit Himself Half Way Up An Then Land In It. Real FML

Today , I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

#21299443
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29695) - you deserved it (8044)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:25am - misc - by That_Indian_Guy (man) - United States (Florida)

2day I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap . I pulld into my driveway an made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes . I endd up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree . FML

#21298320
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32688) - you deserved it (3096)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today , at the gym , some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill 4 not going fast enough , and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing , cuz he heard me from the other side of the room , and threatened to kill me. mega FML

#21297627
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29501) - you deserved it (8313)

On 11/12/2014 at 11:00am - health - by juggalomurderer59 (man) - United States

yesterday a few minutes after giving brth to our fourth child, mah wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if looool u ever put me through that again I'll rip yur balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42566) - you deserved it (13817)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today,hile on a tour bus, our guide told us looool that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committd pacifist, but I was already halfway out of seat to choke the pimply-facd twat out before I managd to restrain myself. Now I'm scard of myself. FML

#21237562
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35436) - you deserved it (5494)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked... "Wat'ca got tere?" He said... "U... tat's my dick... Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43353) - you deserved it (27722)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today... I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it... I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was... "I can't wait until it resemble a human being." FML

Today, my husband an I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like u wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up an saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52434) - you deserved it (6856)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate teir marriage, we spent most of te service being lectured by te priest on ow women r a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and r te cause of all te world's problems. FML

#21233096
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36073) - you deserved it (3099)

On 08/09/2014 at 4:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Malawi

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

#21233010
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37412) - you deserved it (2581)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by I already have one, thanks (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Yesterday I Puttd On A Porno, Trying To Unwind After A Bad Day. 10 Minutes In, I Was So Pissd Off With The Girl Constantly Repeating "You Like That? Yeah?" And The Cameraman's Obsession With The Guy's Asscrack That I Startd Yelling At The Screen. Now I'm More Stressd Than Ever. Mega FML

#21232670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40856) - you deserved it (13602)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

yesterday I let coworker use PC during lunch , because his was having problems. A few hours later , boss called me into his office looool and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe explanation. For fuck's sake , Dave. FML

Today... mah wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. mega FML

#21184387
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58092) - you deserved it (8024)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)



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