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Zeus1070

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Zeus1070

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 423
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Zeus1070's page activity

Visits<b>tintaroja</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 6:23pm<b>erjazo</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:19pm<b>appleluver7</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 7:34pm<b>A7XfanfoREVer28</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 12:50pm<b>supersavvy</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 5:06pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 2:48pm<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 5:26am<b>friedchickenpie</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 2:29pm<b>rttr</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 10:06pm<b>oj101</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 4:15am<b>jonnied23</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 10:11pm<b>SokDek</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 2:31am<b>Ozuru</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 2:11pm<b>sheethapins</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 11:04am

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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Zeus1070's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54790) - you deserved it (7691)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41685) - you deserved it (5537)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

#21157319
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40734) - you deserved it (9474)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm - kids - by get a grip, son (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46261) - you deserved it (27694)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

#21152462
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47406) - you deserved it (4546)

On 05/26/2014 at 5:18pm - misc - by Birthday Surprise - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38997) - you deserved it (6431)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31585) - you deserved it (50775)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51074) - you deserved it (6932)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40610) - you deserved it (10279)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML

#21124429
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35774) - you deserved it (5523)

On 04/27/2014 at 3:16pm - misc - by failureatlife - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

#21124338
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43063) - you deserved it (6038)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Shit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML

#21123602
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34954) - you deserved it (4921)

On 04/26/2014 at 3:55pm - misc - by fuckingfloridahowihatethee (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49592) - you deserved it (9929)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

#21095894
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40861) - you deserved it (4949)

On 03/25/2014 at 7:36am - misc - by disappointed - United States (North Dakota)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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