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Zeus1070

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Zeus1070

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 454
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Zeus1070's page activity

Visits<b>tintaroja</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 6:23pm<b>erjazo</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:19pm<b>appleluver7</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 7:34pm<b>A7XfanfoREVer28</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 12:50pm<b>supersavvy</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 5:06pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 2:48pm<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 5:26am<b>friedchickenpie</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 2:29pm<b>rttr</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 10:06pm<b>oj101</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 4:15am<b>jonnied23</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 10:11pm<b>SokDek</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 2:31am<b>Ozuru</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 2:11pm<b>sheethapins</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 11:04am

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Zeus1070's favorite FMLs

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35318) - you deserved it (10792)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32494) - you deserved it (4801)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35231) - you deserved it (21290)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42936) - you deserved it (5322)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

#21233096
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35047) - you deserved it (3081)

On 08/09/2014 at 4:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Malawi

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

#21233010
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36398) - you deserved it (2550)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by I already have one, thanks (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34539) - you deserved it (11165)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56218) - you deserved it (7925)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41740) - you deserved it (5539)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

#21157319
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40770) - you deserved it (9478)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm - kids - by get a grip, son (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46321) - you deserved it (27729)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

#21152462
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47448) - you deserved it (4549)

On 05/26/2014 at 5:18pm - misc - by Birthday Surprise - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39096) - you deserved it (6445)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico



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