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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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ZeroClouds

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ZeroClouds
  • Town/Country : Peace River, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 May 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 150
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ZeroClouds's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML

#3083696 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (8808) - you deserved it (40387)

On 06/21/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by TBaggins00 (man) - United States (Illilois)

Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

#3078421 (383)

I agree, your life sucks (49821) - you deserved it (19634)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother got a call from our old high school saying that they had fifteen freshmen boys in his office with a nude photo of me on their phones. I had sent that photo only to my boyfriend. Apparently he loves to share me. FML

#167901 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (22542) - you deserved it (67042)

On 03/01/2009 at 1:58am - intimacy - by fmlisthebomb (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (95913) - you deserved it (16564)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

#99945 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (64908) - you deserved it (5578)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by not getting any anymore (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a bar in Canada and was really hitting it off with a girl. She asked how big my junk was and I told her in inches... They use centimeters. FML

#3336 (29)

I agree, your life sucks (15902) - you deserved it (27875)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by KD - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

#552 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (40475) - you deserved it (4330)

On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

#497 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (23186) - you deserved it (2146)

On 12/11/2008 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Black - Lebanon (Beqaa)



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