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Zeishah

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Zeishah
  • Town/Country : Bangalore, India
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 386
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zeishah : hi there :) fml is my daily timepass and gives me solace that my life isn't as crappy as i'd like to believe:)

Zeishah's last visitors

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Zeishah's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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Zeishah's favorite FMLs

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57208) - you deserved it (27315)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

#21104962
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36154) - you deserved it (5446)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML

#21102655
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37787) - you deserved it (5263)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:13am - misc - by Why (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

#21100295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39113) - you deserved it (16425)

On 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm - kids - by and not even in the good way (man) - United States

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39580) - you deserved it (5590)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43754) - you deserved it (7879)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML

#21087087
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38614) - you deserved it (4203)

On 03/15/2014 at 3:35am - love - by Burning Love - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

#21086172
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39420) - you deserved it (5017)

On 03/14/2014 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39570) - you deserved it (2531)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47003) - you deserved it (3523)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I'm eight months pregnant with my second child. My 18-month-old son loves to watch my belly move when his baby brother moves. And then loves to smack my belly. It's going to be a long eighteen years. FML

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

#21039368
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41220) - you deserved it (5936)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML

#21034785
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43812) - you deserved it (4426)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:07am - kids - by sickmom (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



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