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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 July 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3595
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zeishah : hi there :) fml is my daily timepass and gives me solace that my life isn't as crappy as i'd like to believe:)

Zeishah's page activity

Visits<b>prout92340</b> - the 10/30/2016 at 5:43pm<b>kintoki25</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 5:32pm<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 10:00am<b>roock87</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 4:05pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 10:20am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 11:32am<b>bigwell</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 10:33pm<b>MrGodface</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 2:42pm<b>james_logan</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 8:05am<b>DArthurVaderian</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 6:25am<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 6:47pm<b>Afroman720</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 2:56pm<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 9:21pm<b>fhlakd</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:26am<b>jairienfaite</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 10:13am<b>brentt2711</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 10:41am<b>xKG33x</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 10:03am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 8:38pm

Fucked!<b>prout92340</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 3:16pm<b>roock87</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 10:05pm<b>MrGodface</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 8:42pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:38am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 2:38am<b>bigwell</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 4:09am<b>tranced_</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 8:15am<b>justsoccer</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:11am<b>dk1991</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 3:14pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:14am<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 9:38am<b>pks2014</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:29am<b>linemanjason</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 7:18pm<b>_delaneybear</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 4:26pm

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Zeishah's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm beginning to regret explaining death to my 3-year-old son. We were at the supermarket when he looked at an elderly woman and loudly told her "You're gonna die soon!" FML

by mommyopps / 03/25/2016 at 10:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I received a letter from an eBay seller for whom I recently left an honest, negative review. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't ready for what spilled out coating my jeans, shoes, and brand new carpet: Glitter. FML

by okaydisarray / 03/22/2016 at 4:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML

by pansypup / 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm / United States (New Mexico) / Animals

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay / 08/21/2015 at 11:25am / Malta / Kids

Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML

by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

by sam882 / 02/23/2015 at 1:49am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

by fucked / 02/06/2015 at 3:06am / Singapore / Work

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

by fucked / 02/06/2015 at 3:06am / Singapore / Work

Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML

by wounded pride, intact cock / 01/17/2015 at 1:49pm / United States / Love

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

by terdberglerforlyfe / 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Kids

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

by blueballed / 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

by StomachofTinfoil / 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I got demonic gastric distress while taking my final college exam. I only got about 50% of it done, left the classroom 50% faster, and experienced both 50% dread and 50% relief. Now I have to repeat 50% of the class. FML

by all shat out / 11/07/2014 at 1:53am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work