Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zeishah

Search for a member

Zeishah

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 690
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zeishah : hi there :) fml is my daily timepass and gives me solace that my life isn't as crappy as i'd like to believe:)

Zeishah's page activity

Visits<b>moksha</b> - 10 hours ago<b>cba7</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:57pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:47pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:10am<b>NWO666</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:19pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:50am<b>JonD63</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:48am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 8:28pm<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 6:02pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 1:54pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:27am<b>izzy117</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 7:11pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 5:40pm<b>A07</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:27pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 8:57am<b>Indianboy9321</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 2:15am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 11:14pm

Zeishah's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of Zeishah's badges

Zeishah's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing hysterically, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45552) - you deserved it (7918)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51242) - you deserved it (16383)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54372) - you deserved it (4293)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43498) - you deserved it (9517)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42882) - you deserved it (5916)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

#21173084
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44804) - you deserved it (4973)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49782) - you deserved it (10285)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

#21154900
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42510) - you deserved it (15608)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm - misc - by chevygirl51 - United States

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45436) - you deserved it (26774)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

#21145558
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44654) - you deserved it (4724)

On 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm - kids - by Baby eater - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37318) - you deserved it (19805)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37593) - you deserved it (3813)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML

#21126578
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40919) - you deserved it (5957)

On 04/29/2014 at 8:10pm - misc - by gircos (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I asked my son to go to the grocery store across the street and pick up some lettuce. He sighed and said, "Why don't you just order it on Amazon?" FML

#21124599
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40600) - you deserved it (5974)

On 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm - kids - by nh-Amazon - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

#21124489
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35252) - you deserved it (4143)

On 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude (man) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: