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Zeishah

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Zeishah

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1403
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zeishah : hi there :) fml is my daily timepass and gives me solace that my life isn't as crappy as i'd like to believe:)

Zeishah's page activity

Visits<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 1:23pm<b>monkey8970920</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 6:18am<b>lastkingfreddy</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 9:45am<b>_delaneybear</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:26am<b>moksha</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 9:42am<b>keiNan</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 2:58am<b>itzdarebear</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 11:22pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 8:44am<b>TimeForPlanB</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:44am<b>RA91</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 11:41pm<b>edmunson</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 11:26pm<b>pete9913</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 10:18pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 5:47pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 5:23pm<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 4:44pm<b>myselfkk</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 3:44pm<b>Killz268</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:14pm<b>sethsmith11</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:11pm

Liked!<b>_delaneybear</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 4:26pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:33am

Zeishah's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Zeishah's badges

Zeishah's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML

#21338935
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28102) - you deserved it (5709)

On 01/17/2015 at 1:49pm - love - by wounded pride, intact cock (man) - United States

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37742) - you deserved it (3613)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

#21308219
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (5858)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm - intimacy - by blueballed (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

#21304749
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31019) - you deserved it (2980)

On 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm - work - by StomachofTinfoil (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got demonic gastric distress while taking my final college exam. I only got about 50% of it done, left the classroom 50% faster, and experienced both 50% dread and 50% relief. Now I have to repeat 50% of the class. FML

#21293883
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (3578)

On 11/07/2014 at 1:53am - misc - by all shat out - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49176) - you deserved it (3474)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34314) - you deserved it (12280)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43261) - you deserved it (3653)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML

#21268378
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39473) - you deserved it (13340)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I have learned a lot of "big" words from reading so much, but can actually only pronounce about half of them correctly. FML

#21264917
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25776) - you deserved it (5801)

On 09/25/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42123) - you deserved it (11734)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48769) - you deserved it (3915)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (45486)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42515) - you deserved it (13800)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML



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