Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zeishah

Offline (yesterday at 10:39pm) | Search for a member

Zeishah

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 787
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zeishah : hi there :) fml is my daily timepass and gives me solace that my life isn't as crappy as i'd like to believe:)

Zeishah's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:04pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:10am<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 7:15am<b>moksha</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 6:58am<b>izzy117</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 8:42am<b>Gamerhex</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 2:04pm<b>jairienfaite</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:48am<b>mystery_user</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:10am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 2:32am<b>cba7</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:57pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:10am<b>NWO666</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:19pm<b>JonD63</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:48am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 8:28pm<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 6:02pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 1:54pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:27am

Zeishah's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of Zeishah's badges

Zeishah's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24041) - you deserved it (43998)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41722) - you deserved it (13521)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46023) - you deserved it (8301)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51994) - you deserved it (16824)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54868) - you deserved it (4318)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43950) - you deserved it (9917)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43643) - you deserved it (6283)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

#21173084
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45615) - you deserved it (5452)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50465) - you deserved it (10892)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

#21154900
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43367) - you deserved it (16170)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm - misc - by chevygirl51 - United States

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46355) - you deserved it (27741)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

#21145558
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45670) - you deserved it (5284)

On 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm - kids - by Baby eater - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37701) - you deserved it (20042)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38692) - you deserved it (4257)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: