Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zedd

Search for a member

Zedd

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 870
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Zedd's page activity

Visits<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 7:15am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:18am<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:39am<b>Scorcher255</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:14pm<b>garage</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:23pm<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:55am<b>coconutkaloe</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 12:32am<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 6:17pm<b>TYbarnes1995</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Skylae</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 6:49pm<b>klondikeberry</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 1:48am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 3:17am<b>Nooblah</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 7:16pm<b>jelly_rolls</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 2:12am<b>nineteen99</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 4:11pm<b>Decky_Bar</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 9:25pm<b>lilpsyco</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 1:32am<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 10:45pm

Zedd's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Zedd's badges

Zedd's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

#20182587
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6227) - you deserved it (42579)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27186) - you deserved it (15908)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35800) - you deserved it (10439) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14818) - you deserved it (38516)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

#20008924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24907) - you deserved it (2410)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML

#19994550
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18592) - you deserved it (2032)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by 1D-107 - United States (Utah)

Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML

#19976445
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5027) - you deserved it (41855)

On 07/22/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by fmyarse (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML

#19929882
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27021) - you deserved it (6088)

On 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by lostforlife - United States (Maine)

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

#19821696
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6646) - you deserved it (67300)

On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

#19818788
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25987) - you deserved it (2867)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by phonnah - United States (Maryland)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28739) - you deserved it (2890)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

#19642292
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (2963)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

#19575752
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25672) - you deserved it (4365)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by CALIdime_15 - United States

Today, I realized that I've been intentionally causing arguments with my husband because the spare bed is more comfortable. FML

#18575911
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9408) - you deserved it (31618)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by sninapeters - United States

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

#17444868
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29079) - you deserved it (3908)

On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: