Zedd

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Zedd

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1194
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Zedd's page activity

Visits<b>___Unknown__08</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 7:58am<b>DigityDank</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 4:38pm<b>madinphernelia</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 12:47am<b>itta_pupu</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:21am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 9:42pm<b>little_fucker</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 2:09am<b>Stil_Legend</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 5:07pm<b>sabres5730</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 5:19pm<b>anonymous_guy32</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 12:23am<b>SullenPeak8</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:22pm<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:49pm<b>wdin</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 4:51pm<b>peceout</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 2:28am<b>tepovre</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 11:41am<b>Im_a_Believer</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:35pm<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 7:15am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:18am<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:39am

Zedd's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Zedd's badges

Zedd's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

by Widowmaker / 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

by jon / 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2012 at 1:59am / United States / Animals

Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML

by 1D-107 / 07/31/2012 at 1:43pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML

by fmyarse / 07/22/2012 at 6:45pm / United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML

by lostforlife / 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

by daddy'sgirl / 06/21/2012 at 12:11am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

by phonnah / 06/20/2012 at 1:59pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

by DwarfFrog / 06/18/2012 at 7:38am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

by CALIdime_15 / 05/05/2012 at 1:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I realized that I've been intentionally causing arguments with my husband because the spare bed is more comfortable. FML

by sninapeters / 12/22/2011 at 12:31am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

by Musicfan / 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money