ZeShadow

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ZeShadow

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 December 1981 (34 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11750
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ZeShadow : Just love a good laugh... at your expense

ZeShadow's page activity

Visits<b>Daevas</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 4:14am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 8:16am<b>MrPigg</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:23pm<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 12:11am<b>Tigre5012</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Yogibob</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 7:18am<b>lillypatter</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 4:02pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 2:35pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:02am<b>ururu_sama</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 11:06pm<b>urbanlegend105</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 3:56am<b>jokerssmile</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 9:00pm<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 8:18pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 11:02pm<b>hillier</b> - the 04/16/2009 at 12:41pm<b>Blaza101</b> - the 04/14/2009 at 5:40am<b>Nottooeffed</b> - the 04/11/2009 at 2:55am<b>metalyoshi9</b> - the 04/06/2009 at 1:11pm

ZeShadow's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ZeShadow's favorite FMLs

Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, while at work in a subscription TV call center, a 71 year old male customer went into explicit detail about the Adult's Only programming that he enjoys, including all the kinky things he learns from said programming and tries out on his 70 year old wife. FML

by Lockie / 04/28/2009 at 5:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thinks about long term relationships. He said, "Our relationship is kinda like having a dog. Chances are, your dog is going to die pretty quickly, before you do. Dogs and humans just aren't meant to be together forever." He compared me to a dying dog. FML

by wvugirl / 04/19/2009 at 4:49pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breaths on my neck. When I was about to finish he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck/ear and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

by bodyelectric / 04/13/2009 at 8:07am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

by Hotsauce887 / 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching tv. He gets up at one point and turns the light off and I asked him why. He said "You look better in the dark". FML

by sadgf / 03/29/2009 at 1:41pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

by mugs / 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy