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Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19309) - you deserved it (6857)
On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized what all the women I've been with have in common: Craigslist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4876) - you deserved it (17601)
On 01/31/2010 at 12:42pm - love - by depr3ssed (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6095) - you deserved it (34990)
On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21358) - you deserved it (7655)
On 01/28/2010 at 8:59am - love - by thisucks (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, my dad found out I got a tattoo behind his back and is really really upset. When I got home from work my car wasn't in the driveway. When I asked my dad where it was, he replied "you'll get it back when your tattoo comes off." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9272) - you deserved it (24926)
On 01/28/2010 at 8:08am - misc - by tattooooooface - United States
Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19846) - you deserved it (1877)
On 01/28/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43465) - you deserved it (6384)
On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199238) - you deserved it (58842)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Monday 20 May 2013
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