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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Youwantwhatnow

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Youwantwhatnow
  • Town/Country : virginia beach, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 September 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2655
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Youwantwhatnow : This member hasn't filled in the description.




ain't that a bitch.





*If you have to know about me, then work up the balls to ask.

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Youwantwhatnow's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML

#12008337 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (8785) - you deserved it (48692)

On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (19565) - you deserved it (1768)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (30292) - you deserved it (8125)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (7651) - you deserved it (24863)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML

#6631628 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (31191) - you deserved it (1347)

On 12/06/2009 at 8:24am - misc - by flying_vegan - United Kingdom

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (29661) - you deserved it (1979)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (12811) - you deserved it (21369)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, a woman evidently posted on a chat website asking for any young men to send pictures of their junk to her cell phone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of them including the picture. Only problem. The number posted wasn't hers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#6137228 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (16281) - you deserved it (1371)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by buckid310 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

#6040415 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (4743) - you deserved it (19409)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by Moody (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (66551) - you deserved it (9418)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML

#5550225 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (51899) - you deserved it (3372)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML

#5344643 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (56726) - you deserved it (2968)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (10215) - you deserved it (47760)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

#4330249 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (69508) - you deserved it (14725)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (66508) - you deserved it (9151)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)