Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Youwantwhatnow : This member hasn't filled in the description.
ain't that a bitch.
*If you have to know about me, then work up the balls to ask.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted ( What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it! ) I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML
Today, I went to the shops with mah little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many drty looks. She thought it was hilarious. mega FML
Today,hile taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains . The shadow turnd out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub . I ran out of the bathroom screaming and nakd . My little sister cummd to mah door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
Taday I lerened explosive diarrhea is real !! I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket !! 10 feet in.!! !! liquid poo started spewing down mah pants legs !! 150 feet to go !! I ran !! It ran !! They watched !! After 15 minutes of cleaning.!! !! I slunk out !! Now.!! !! I have to fine a new market.!! !! maybe a new town !! FML
Today , I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards , cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
Today, a woman evidently postd on a cat website asking 4 any young men to send pictures of tere junk to er cell pone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of tem including te picture. Only problem. Te number postd wasn't ers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML
Today , I opened my personal laptop looool at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten second of slurping , spitting and gagging. It was my frst day. FML
Today, I ad to take a dump . Wile looking for a book to read, I sneezd . Te force of te sneeze causd me to sit my pants . Te glob of dung ten ran down my leg before falling out of my sort onto my carpet, all in less tan 5 seconds . Noting in my life as prepard me for tis . FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four yeres ago. My little sister was looking in the mrror practicing her "orgasm face" while the nieghbors were dancing outside, coked out an naked. mega FML
Today... I was at my boyfriand's housahila his plumbing was baing radona. I raally had to paa... but tha toilat wasn't working... so I pad in his cat's littarbox. His cat got dafansiva... and startd attacking mahila I pad. My boyfriand walkd in and saw thahola thing. FML
2day I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle . After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much 4 me and I couldn't control myself . I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist . FML
Friday 27 March 2015