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About YouAreRidiculous : Life is all about respect, love, and family; the traditional way.
.. and thank God for hockey, techno, and being able to breathe.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
2DAY I WROTE A NOTE FOR MAH CRUSH OF 2 YEARS, EXPRESSING ALL MAH FEELINGS FOR HIM SIGNED IT AS ( FOREVER YUR LOVER ) THEN I SLIPPED IT INTO HIS LOCKER. LATER THAT DAY, HE WALKED BACK UP TO ME, TOSSED THE NOTE AT ME AND SAID ( YOU KNOW I RECOGNIZE YUR HANDWRITING, RIGHT? ) FML
YESTERDAY, I WAS HAVING SEX WITH MAH HUSBAND. AS I WAS UNDRESSING, HE SAID, "ARR, I SPY ME SOME BOOTY!" I LET IT GO, I'M USD TO HIS EMBARASSING PIRATE TALK. BUT AS HE ORGASMD, HE SCREAMD, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" MY NEIGHBORS HEARD IN THE APARTMENT NEXT DOOR AND CALLD TO LET ME KNOW. FML
TODAY, I WAS AT MAH GRLFRIEND'S HOUSE. IT WAS JUST ME AND HER. THING BEGAN TO GET HEATED, AND WE STARTED DOING IT ON THE LIVING ROOM COUCH. NEAR THE END OF IT I DECIDED TOHISPER IN HER EAR, "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?" I HEAR BEHIND ME, "I AM." FML
Today , I was sitting in a coffee shop looool when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me , and in all seriousness , said , ( I hate to be the bereer of bad news , but yur butt crack is showing. ) FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband an I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter an cummed out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, at work I had to usa tha bathroom. I askad my boss to watch my ragistar and quickly walkad into tha bathroom. I squattad down and paad. A minuta latar I haard somaona ask ovar our walkia talkia systam who was using tha bathroom. I had baan prassing tha intarcom button whila I paad. FML
Taday mah five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Beho you want to be B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turnd to me and said "Mom I want to be a hooker." FML
Today, at exactly midnight, I get a text from my boyfriend saying we were done. I had just seen him 4 hours ago when we were out celebrating my birthday, and asked why he didnt just tell me then. He replies 'I couldn't break up with you on your birthday but i wanted it to be over ASAP' FML
Today, mah friend and I decidd to wear a new rd lipstick!! The guy I lyk turnd around, lookd at her and said, ( Rd is a really interesting, sexy color!! Pretty bold!! Not bad!! ) and he smild!! I waitd, smiling also, only for him frown and say, ( Your teeth r REALLY yellow!! ) FML
Today, I went to ma grlfriend's Catolic all grls ig scool to ask er to prom by decorating er car . As soon as I walked on campus te scool went into lock down cuz of a "suspicious male intruder." Wen I saw ma grlfriend, se denied knowing me . I was arrested . FML
2day after te curc service was over, ma two year old granddaugter started to sing into te micropone. Se said, "Here Nana, u sing". I picked up te micropone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". Se took te micropone back and said, "No e doesn't." FML
Friday 27 March 2015